Julie (lomewen) wrote in the_emo_elite,

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I think I spoke too soon when I said it was a pretty good day. Not only am I not going to the concert, but Jessica's Druggie friend, Margaret, just insulted me about everything I care about. She called me whore, and said that I don't care about my friends. And that it would be a good thing if I killed myself.

She doesnt even know me, and I know that shes just saying that because she's mean and angry. But I can't help but feeling upset.

I deal with so much shit each day. From trying to keep a friend from turning into an alcoholic, to my parents yelling at me about everything, to the thoughts in my own head.

I'm brave enough to not kill myself, because I know there are people out there who love me, and I would hurt them if I was no longer here. But I can't help but wonder if with everything I'm trying to do, if I actually mean a lot to people, or am I just another fun face in the crowd of friends.

I'm walking on fragile ground, and it doesnt take much to push me off. I thought life was good because I finally came to terms with someone from my elementary school, and now we're talking again. But now I wonder if I can ever not be the person that gets torn apart by others for no reason.

(x-posted on my lj)

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